Wilma Deering

Blimey, over on Bugwar > it's gone Erin Gray C-razy.

Heather Locklear At Christmas

Just lifted this pic of Locklear (more on Bugwar), as she is first choice for the lead role in the TV Movie I've been writing whilst working at the BBC over Christmas. Working title : 'Your Cock's Head Is Too Big For My Tight Ass'. Locklear has yet to get back to me on this.

Deep Art 002

Well, I'm off to London until after Xmas to stay with Duderino & generally work depressing shifts in telly, so I'll see you people in a week or so.

Happy..er..actually, fuck it.

Deep Art 001

So, then. What could have possibly happened next?

Spider Fluff

Many thanks to El Lurcherino for putting me up last week while I did a stint at Al Jazeera. Lurch also insisted I read the current Mark Millar / Steve McNiven Wolverine, which I duly did and now can't wait for the next one. McNiven does do good fluff...this here is Hawkeye's daughter.
If you haven't already I suggest getting hold of it. Good stuff.
Happy birthday for the day before yesterday Lurch...I'll post a fluff pic for you if you tell me who you want (nobody toooo rough, I know you like them slightly deformed or unfeminine).

The Moon

Books

Westworld

Currently in the middle of watching Westworld on TCM. Why hasn't that happened yet then? I'd go.

How Old?

Well, now. Very Old today, but the depressing ageing thing has been offset by Mrs Zero buying me the latest Stephen Hunter...a king among writers..He's so fucking Eighties it's like he still lives back there.
I shall be reading it very soon, next week in fact as I travel by train down to our great capital to work, once again, in television. Oh, well, I did get out for almost two years. That has to count for something, right? I worked some overnights last week on Channel Five's American Football. Free chocolate & my name on the credits really didn't make me feel any better. Walking back into the studio firing line just made me nauseous and somewhat retarded. It's looking like I might be back in the television genre just in time to see it finally fist-fuck itself to death.
On top of that I goosed my knee a few weeks back and standing up for eight hours in a studio didn't really help. The most annoying thing is my other knee's fucked now from taking all the weight. Go figure.
Still, using a walking stick for a week was cool. It felt very cosmopolitan.
Apologies for not posting for over a month (to anybody who gives a crap), I have no excuse other than I really had nothing to say. And as you probably can see...I still don't.

What A Crock Of Fucking Sorry Shit

Christ, there's 90 minutes I'll never get back. AVP : Requiem, it's a really dark film. No, I mean dark...couldn't see a fucking thing. Biggest pile of tripe I've seen in a long time. It's like it was made by Michael Bay's ass hairs (he's the worst director I could think of off the top of my head). Hollywood can kiss goodbye to that franchise. Here's a tip..next time hire a fucking director.

Top Ten Disaster Movies..Number #11

#11 : Krakatoa : East Of Java (1969).

Forgot one, which is how 'Daylight' got in there in the first place...what's this then you bunch of smart asses?

Top Ten Disaster Movies.

Ah, a Top Ten. #01 : Daylight (1996).

#02 : Dante's Peak (1997).

#03 : Earthquake (1974).

#04 : Deep Impact (1998).

#05 : The Day The Earth Caught Fire (1961).

#06 : The Poseidon Adventure (1972).

#07 : A Night To Remember (1958).

#08 : The Core (2003).

#09 : The Towering Inferno (1974).

#10 : Airport '77 (1977).

There you go, a true pleasure to compile. Tell me all ten movies and win an invitation to come and have tea & biscuits & creamo at my villa in the country*.

*I may not be there.

The Long Ryders - I Had a Dream

Just Genius - gotta dig those guitars.

Paul Newman

RIP dude.

National Wheatley Day

As suggested by Lurch, I heareby declare September 26th National Dennis Wheatley Day.

Random Books

Boris Vallejo Cover.^

Gino Achilleos cover. ^

Frank C Pape Cover ^ (Thanks JC).

'The Devil Rides Out' for Farmer Glitch. What a fucking great cover. Don't know the artist, feel free to enlighten me (JC?).

Thought I'd just randomly post a few books I've got my hands on recently - for no other reason than I haven't posted any lately.

Dennis Wheatley

I have to say, I do love a book with a giant Nazi on the cover.

Sunburn

As Kek rightly pointed out over on Kid Shirt (while the whole 10cc fever thing winds down), I only really got involved due to Graham Gouldman doing the theme to Sunburn (1979), in which Farrah Fawcett wears this fetching get up. It also stars Charles Grodin, one of my favourite character acting gods.

Doomsday

Saw Doomsday last night. Quite enjoyed it, despite some of the worst editing I have ever seen. I can see why it got so slagged off, there isn't one original idea in it, and, although I assume it's supposed to be a homage to Aliens / Mad Max 2 / Escape From New York, it's all so specific, Neil Marshall takes chunks of films and just copies them. There's a scene in it that's identical to the chase to the subway station in The Warriors.
Still, lots of gore and Rhona Mitra makes it kind of watchable. Always good to see Sean Pertwee's still getting work. He married a friend of mine don't you know.

PS : Fantastic to see people have been finding textless soft porn genius Bugwar objectionable. I guess now he won't be premiering my ink & paper Susan Storm pix. Ah well, if you want to see some I'll happily send them straight to your inbox. I would post them here, but I have standards.

How & Why

Cool Coaster

Graham Gouldman - Sunburn

Top Ten 10cc Songs

Well, over on Kid Shirt it's gone 10cc crazy. So, anyway, here's my top ten, well eight, 10cc songs:

01/ Rubber Bullets.

02/ Sunburn (Graham Gouldman).

03/ Donna.

04/ I'm Mandy, Fly Me.

05/ I'm Not In Love (It's pretty shit, but I snogged a girl called Judith to it in 1978).

06/ Building A Bridge To Your Heart (Wax : Graham Gouldman & Andrew Gold).

07/ Under Your Thumb (Godley & Creme). Just so crap it's genius.

08/ Clockwork Creep (Never heard it but what a great title).

There you go, I feel much better for that.

ULTRAVOX!

After waffling on about Ultravox! over on Kid Shirt, I went straight to Ebay & got this 7 inch EP for 99p. It's quite sad how cheap it was, I would've gone to at least £2.99.

Still, it's a staggeringly good slice of live pop and seeing the cover again jolted me right back to 1977. Oh, Ure, what the fuck did you do?

Poor old Warren Cann never did photograph well.

Lohan Loaded

A little late for Lohan week, but many thanks to Mr Glitch for sending me this pic in which personal friend of mine Lindsay Lohan appears to be drunk. I'm sure she's really just preparing for a part or something. I'm pretty sure she doesn't drink.

Just in case anybody's interested, I have finally put together my new old album 'The Ghost Of Tracey Carter'. Recorded back in 1981 / 1982, this was my first 'proper' band Terror Fish, featuring me, Brendan Wallis (who left because I was taking too many drugs...there's a fucking irony), Steve Vaughan off crap Banshee impersonator P J Harvey, and Daffy who was, well, a twat. Ten tracks, recorded over two sessions, it doesn't sound too dated to me, this is mainly because we were so out of the loop in the first place we never found out how to be 'current'.

Anyway, it's good stuff if you don't mind rubbish singing, and if you're interested in a copy it's £4.99 + £1.00 p&p. You can use Paypal, just leave a comment & I'll drop my email address on your blog.

Lohan Week

Well, I thought Lindsay Lohan week went rather well. Though it is time to revert to The Octopus as I can't keep up with the comments...and I'm working on another Top Ten...which will be Top 10 Great Hair.
Watch this space.

The Stud

Unarguably the best British film ever made. Probably based on Lindsay Lohan's mum.

Variety El Punko #02

As mentioned over on Kid Shirt a couple of weeks back, I have now completed the uber fucking sequal to the Uber Fucking Cool Variety El Punko #01. Track listing:

1/ Emergency................................................ 999.

2/ Oh Shit..................................................... Buzzcocks.

3/ First Time................................................ The Boys.

4/ Love & A Molotov Cocktail...................... The Flys.

5/ Up Against The Wall............................... TRB.

6/ Ain't Got A Clue....................................... The Lurkers.

7/ Where Were You?....................................The Mekons.

8/ Judy Says (Knock You In The Head)......The Vibrators.

9/ Zip Nolan........................................... The Cult Figures.

10/ War Stories........................................... Starjets.

11/ New Rose............................................... The Damned.

12/ Sound Of The Suburbs.......................... The Members.

13/ California Uber Alles............................ Dead Kennedys.

14/ Young Savage........................................ Ultravox.

15/ Gary Gilmore's Eyes.............................. The Adverts.

16/ Wild Youth............................................Generation X.

17/ You've Got My Number......................... The Undertones.

18/ 5 Minutes........................................ The Stranglers.

19/ Top Of The Pops................................... The Rezillos.

20/ All Around The World......................... The Jam.

21/ Danger Signs......................................... Penetration.

22/ I'm An Upstart..................................... Angelic Upstarts.

23/ Holidays In The Sun............................ Sex Pistols.

There you go. If you want a copy, let me know, I'll send it for just £2.00 P&P, or both for £3.00. I'm aware that The Angelic Upstarts were naff second generation punk, but 'I'm An Upstart' is so funny it kind of had to be included.

Lindsay Lohan unfortunately didn't make it on there, even though her single 'I Lezzed Off With No Warning' is quite punk.

Rambo

Finally got around to seeing Rambo this afternoon (another film that strangely doesn't have Lindsay Lohan in it).

It's so fucking violent. I can't recommend it highly enough, it's just pure genius. It makes the first half hour of Saving Private Ryan look like Sleepless In Seattle.

Rent it out immediately.

Simon Says

Caught a fantastic film called 'Simon Says' on Zone Horror the other night. Teenage campers get slaughtered by a bonkers Crispin Glover who he kills mostly with a giant pick-axe throwing machine. It's just crazed. Lindsay Lohan isn't actually in it, but if she had been she would have been killed last.