Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Joe Pasquale For President

Appalling to see Natalie Appleton walk off 'I'm A Celebrity..' after only failing 5 trials. She seemed so hardy.
Good, though, to see Uber-Nobody Nancy Sorrell get the sack. She got no air time despite getting 'em out constantly, which was ace. Being Vic Reeves' fluff isn't much of a career boost these days. Neither is being Vic Reeves. Joe Pasquale is funnier than Reeves. How Very, Very superb.
My faith in the British public is slowly returning - you have to admit their non-stop torture of Nat was inspired.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Brighton Book Shop Hell

Just returned from 48 hours in Brighton. Found a couple of nice Burroughs with Frank Frazetta covers to add to my growing pulp pile.
It's astonishing how many of the book shops down there stick price labels on their stock that take half the cover off when you remove them. I actually asked in one shop because I found a nice copy of Sven Hassel's 'Assignment Gestapo' and the bloke said 'Nah, mate, them old books it'll rip the cover'. Nice, professional approach. Needless to say I put the book back.
At least he told me, I suppose.

Monday, November 22, 2004

An Apology

I just wanted to apologize publicly for my previous post about killing people.
I don't know what came over me - but I forgot Gaby Roslin. Jesus, I hate her more than any of them.
Tedious, moronic, talentless, shouting bag of stale blonde shit with eyes that say 'Where Am I?'.
She's had more shows axed than Richard Blackwood.
When I win the lottery, my agenda includes giving 1 million to Children In Need if Roslin fucks off the telly - now. She'd have to do it.
It's a genius plan.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Meet The GA

So, I was working with Girls Aloud yesterday for a Children In Need Breakfast Special Thing (needless to say I was being paid - I would have offered my services for free but I don't like children and I certainly don't think they need anything).
Anyway- once I'd gotten Cheryl Tweedy to take off her swastika armband it all went pretty well.
It was fascinating to discover that Nicola (The Rough One), isn't actually the ruffest, Cheryl, apart from being a Nazi, is actually pretty fucking ugly. An astonishing turn of events.
Also, only two can actually talk (Sarah & Nadine), the other three can only giggle. I actually had to look at their website to find out which was which before the show- ( www.girlsaloud.co.uk/site.php ) - the other one being Kimberley - and, as official GA websites go - it Rocks.
Still, the whole experience was V heartwarming, hearing them talk (well, two of them, anyway) about how wonderful it was to 'get involved in something' so 'worthwhile' & 'career promoting'.
Thick as shit, God Bless Em.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

People Who Should Fuck Off Before I Kill Them

Nick Hornby (get a job).

Ewan McGregor (really - what is anyone thinking putting him in anything?).

Frank Skinner (Why? Why Is He On My Telly?).

Geri Halliwell (Somebody kill her - before it's too late).

Uma Thurman (Man's Face).

Band Aid 20 (Surely they know it's Christmas by now - do we really need to keep telling them?).

Lleyton Hewitt (Nazi Aussie with spots who couldn't even keep hold of his pug-ugly girlfriend).

David Schwimmer (Tit).

Peter Andre & Jordan (A six part series on ITV1 - is that really necessary?).

All The Osbornes Except Ozzie.

Phil Jupitas (You're not funny - no, really, you're not funny).

Ben Elton (Neither are you).

Anyone With The Surname 'Bedingfield'.

John Leslie (Oh - he has fucked off).

Anthea Turner (So has she - Snowflake guzzling bitch).

Jez Todd (Cameraman who lives down my road - let's face it - if your name's Jez - you're a Wanker).

Carol Fucking Vorderman.

The Person Responsible For Maintainance On The BBC 2nd Floor Tea Bar Coffee Machine.

It's not that I'm having a bad day or anything - but Wow, I feel better for that.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

At Last...

Doc Savage #117/118 - the 2nd rarest book of the series..is finally mine. I now have the whole set - that's 124 books. 96 singles, 15 doubles & 13 omnibuses. Plus the 3 Philip Jose Farmer books.
I haven't bothered with the '90s Will Murray books 'cause I'm a purist.
I feel much better for letting you all know.
God bless Ebay.