Friday, March 30, 2007


Molly gave me this last November & he's been stuck to the kitchen window since we moved down here. Today he finally fell off into the washing up. Tremendous sucker power, though.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Little People

Actually spotted this over on The Groovy Age Of Horror a while back, and now have secured my own copy via Ebay. What a genius piece of work - John Christopher (The Death Of Grass, The World In Winter) does Nazi Dwarf horror. And a Hector Garrido cover (The Destroyer) to boot.
Christopher's one of my favourite post-apocalypse writers. The World In Winter shows how the Third World would really treat us after Western society breaks down, and it's not nearly as nice as The Day After Tomorrow promises.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Went along to see 300 this afternoon, and I have to say it's Fucking Fantastic. Spartans are really hard.

Although I did find the hot dog I had a tad disapointing, even though they brought it to my seat.

There you go, another ground-breaking uber-review at Octopus 99.

Monday, March 26, 2007


'Parachuted into German-occupied France to unravel the secrets of a diabolic missile system, Nicole had penetrated the Nazi headquarters.
But now she was stark naked, the unknown, personal prisoner of a licentious, cruel German captain.'
Licentious...She really is Fucked.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Top Ten Post-Apocalypse Films

#01 - Mad Max 2 (aka The Road Warrior) (1981). Nuclear War.

#02 - Millenium (1989). Pollution.

#03 - Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (1970). Nuclear War / Apes Getting Uppity.

#04 - Land Of The Dead (2005). Zombie Holocaust.

#05 - The Omega Man (1971). Biological Warfare.
#06 - On The Beach (1959). Nuclear War.

#07 - Logan's Run (1976). Nuclear War.
#08 - No Blade Of Grass (1970). Famine.
#09 - The Day Of The Triffids (1962). Mass Blindness / Man-Eating Plants.
#10 - Night Of The Comet (1984). The Trail Of A Comet Wipes Out Life On Earth.

There you have it - ten movies filmed after the apocalypse. Tell me the films and win a bottle of Jango Fett bubble bath.
I actually have my own plan for the end of the world, and I'm pretty sure I'll survive. Unless it's a flood. I'm basically fucked if it's a flood.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Deputy Fucking Dawg

Ah, I love charity shops (except for Oxfam - they're wankers), picked this up today for next to nothing. Brings back fond memories of that little Muskrat fella fucking with DD's head.
Tomorrow I'm planning another Top Ten - although after this one I really am out of genres - unless I decide to get more anal and do, like, a Shannen Doherty or a Gary Busey Top Ten.
Anyway, just thought I'd trail it...a few people seemed to miss the last one. Although it is supposed to be Uber-Sunny tomorrow, in which case I may go to The Beach...'cause I live Really Near The Beach and I may go surfing or I may go and watch people surf 'cause I'm actually a big fucking Hodad.
Did I mention that I live Really Fucking Near The Beach? And it's sandy with big waves, there's none of that lame South Devon flat sea /gravel beach shit.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Cool Books

A couple of the more tasteful books I picked up last weekend.

Shiny #3

And there is Beckinsale, current Queen Of Shininess.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Shiny 2

How could I have left Alicia out? I'm losing it.

Monday, March 19, 2007



Thanks, Molly, for reminding me of my roots.

Comic Relief?

So, last Friday...was that Comic Relief night...or Little Fucking Britain night?
I actually did walk around Barnstaple dressed as a Waffen SS Stormtrooper, but nobody gave me any money.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sven Hassel

A couple of Hassels especially for Davider.


All I can say is Go Scooch at this years Eurovision. Ah, what geniuses the British public are. Watching Justin Hawkins strop off after not making the final two made my night, and the fuck-up over who had actually won was priceless. Wogan - concentrate - you're losing it.
I worked with Scooch a few years back (when they were 'big'), and they were Very Nice People, so go out and win it you talentless fools.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Top Ten Vietnam Movies

#01: The Green Berets (1968).

#02: First Blood (1982).

#03: The Losers (AKA: Nam's Angels) (1970).

#04: The Boys In Company C (1978).

#05: Apocalypse Now (1979).
#06: Hamburger Hill (1987).

#07: Go Tell The Spartans (1978).
#08: Casualties Of War (1989).

#09: Rolling Thunder (1977).

#10: Full Metal Jacket (1987).
Here you go. Don't be put off by the black & whiteness, they're all movies in full technicolour. Also some might be post 'Nam.
This might well be the last Top Ten I do...mainly 'cause I'm all out of genres. Tell me the a bag of liquorice torpedoes.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

New Books

Well, with the pocket money I saved from not sponsoring Molly B for Comic Relief, I got a handful of Nazi / Killer Croc books in Bude today.
Now what's more important..furthering my huge collection of pulp fiction thus increasing my personal happiness...or buying some kid some shoes who'll probably grow up and try to invade Europe?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Love Hearts

Good to see Love Hearts keeping up with the times. There was another one in there that said 'Munch My Ass' - which is apparently what the kids are doing these days.

Saturday, March 10, 2007


Blimey, how shit is Primeval? That's the worst written thing I've seen on telly Who? ..Lost? ..Gray's Anatomy? ..ITN News? Oh, come to think of it it's actually not much shitter than anything else. But Hannah Spearritt, who was my favourite non-Nazi
S-Clubber, is really looking a lot like E.T. these days.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Dr Nikola

Found this in a charity shop today. Never heard of it but it absolutely needed to be bought due to the cover. Bizarrely it has no blurb on the back or inside, it just starts, so I have no way of knowing anything about it..short of actually reading it.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Beer Hurts

As is usual when I have a Monumental Hangover - I like to look at pictures of Erin Gray. Go Figure.
I've felt like cold shit all day and have only managed to eat liquorice torpedoes, but it was worth it. Many thanks to Niowulf for driving 200 odd miles up from the Big City just to go for a couple of beers..well, a lot of beers, actually. Had a great night slagging off tv directors we've worked with...ah, so happy I'm not in that frying pan anymore.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Batgirl 2

As a footnote to the slagging off Joel Schumacher party over on St Anthony, here's Alicia Silverstone, a tragic victim of his car-crash editing technique.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Air To Air Missiles

Picked this up today in a charity shop - I was actually after something on Surface To Air Missiles, but one can't be to picky.