Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Happy Crapmas

Well, that was Crap. I had just got in from work on Xmas Eve and I immediately became Ill. Literally, I walked in the front fucking door for my first Christmas off in four years and was struck down with a virus before I had stepped on the living room carpet. My fever lasted exactly two and a half days, so when I returned to work on Tuesday I was fine.
TV was crap. Jesus, though, it really was crap. There was absolutely nothing on..and don't say 'Ooo..what about Dr Who?' What about him? He's a cunt. So's Shrek.
We dug out a tape of The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad & watched that.
On Boxing Day they pulled The Poseidan Adventure just because of some fucking tsunami that happened, like, a year ago. It only starts off with a Giant Wave - what's the problem?.
Girls Aloud live was very weak. Bad miming, but they did do Teenage Dirtbag.
The best bit of Christmas this year was being driven to Homebase on Tuesday morning by Greg to find the place deserted and with 25% off laminate flooring. How very.

11 comments:

Psychbloke said...

I had that nasty little feller - went out Saturday before Christmas - had a hangover (to be expected) - but which lasted FOUR DAYS!
The little bastards wait 'til you get a break......

Dominic Zero said...

I blame the Government...and that bloke who won X Factor.

Psychbloke said...

And the ballroom dancing bloke....

And the Tories.......

kek-w said...

Yeah, what he said...

I'm now on day 12 of this fucker...been ill since last sunday week....gamely limped on for over a week, thinking it was just the malingering aftermath of the flu, then started getting yet more fevers and chills, so went to the docs yesterday who confirmed that, yes, I had a bastard chest infection from hell and frog-marched me off to bed w/ a horse-sized collection of antibiotics. So been sweating it out for the last 48 hours (again)....spending most of the day (and night) in bed...get up & write a couple emails to alleviate the boredom 'til I get too dizzy, then fuck off back to bed again.

Christmas, what Christmas?

Bah, humbug.

Dominic Zero said...

I have had quite a lot of fun being back at work. When people ask if I had a good Christmas I get to go 'No - I had a shit Christmas you fucker'. It's just not what you're supposed to say. It fucks with people's heads.
The fact that I actually caught this fucking thing from a certain Ms Kaplinsky does, however, give this illness celebrity status.
Psychbloke - don't be be bringing Darren Gough into this - it's not his fault. I think it's best we all blame this whole outbreak on that fucking Evil Tart Zoe Ball.
Kek - stop being iller than me. You always have to out-do everybody. I bet your illness isn't Celebrity based like mine.

kek-w said...

Hahaha...nah, probably just randomly picked it up off some tosser in town who was "doing a last minute bit of xmas shopping"...I'd be fine by now if I'd stayed in bed earlier in the week instead of soldiering on, so only got meself to blame....but, yeah, like you I can't wait to tell everybody what a cunty xmas I had....fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

The Illness Oscars go to my sister's side of the family (her kids, their spouses and their kids, etc): Out of 12 of them, my sis was the only one left standing on xmas day. Apparently, the 25th was like an outtake from "Land of the Dead"...

God, she's a fucken hag, "Ms Kaplinsky", ain't she? (Don't need to answer this...your silence will be taken as an affirmative)

I'm not sure I'd want to get an illness off a celebrity, because I'd then have to hunt them down and kill them (and then I'd get daubed by the media as a common-or-garden stalker...yeah, riiiight, as if....well, maybe I could have my arm twisted into stalking Viv Albertine if someone gave me a time machine set to 1979....or maybe we could team-up for Cheryl Ladd...), but there are heckuva lot of celebrities I'd like to give an illness to....tetanus is pretty unpleasant, if untreated, I hear....

Dominic Zero said...

well, I have to say she's been a lot less grumpy since she chucked 'Breakfast' in.

kek-w said...

Homebase....did you see Colonel White while you were there...?

Dominic Zero said...

Yeah, Col White tried to grab my ass while I was at checkout - I could do nothing about it because I was holding a load of laminate flooring. He can walk again, you know, now he's CGI.

Dan said...

"they pulled The Poseidan Adventure just because of some fucking tsunami that happened, like, a year ago"

You'd think they might have spotted that earlier. They did, after all, have a years warning this time.

Dominic Zero said...

I know - I was`all excited too. It's pathetic is what it is.