Sunday, June 19, 2005

The Real World

Intensely hungover as I am..I thought now might be a good time to answer the Big Questions passed to me by Kek-W, even though I've built it up too much making it all an inevitable disappointment.

Q 01 - If you could have one super-power, what would it be & why?
(Assume you get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength,
endurance & agility.)

Well, with me it always comes back to Invisibility. It's all you need. I mean, the novelty of flying's gonna wear off pretty quickly. And what else is there? Flaming On? Running really fast? Turning into metal? They're all going to wear a bit thin after a couple of days. I mean Blackbolt - that's a pretty crap power - what are you going to do with that?
But invisibility, that's gonna keep me occupied for ages. I could nick stuff, kill Rob Brown.
I'd have to insist on being able to make other things invisible too though, I'm not going round naked.
I used to have a super-power when I was younger - the ability to make doors open the wrong way. Funnily enough it only worked when I was on LSD.

Q 02 - Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy & why?

Oh, God, I could go on and on and I probably will. I had a BIG thing for Jean Grey / Marvel Girl / Phoenix - but - she's dead (again), so I guess she doesn't 'exist'.
So I'll have to go for The Invisible Girl (yes, Girl) when she got hijacked by The Hate Monger (Marvel's best Nazi) and he turned her into Malice (FF 280 -281). Even though she was drawn by the sexless John Byrne my cock was sore for a month after that came out.
The Wasp, The White Queen (she can turn into diamond now - when did that happen?), Madame Hydra and Ant Man are all close runners up in this category. I never fancied any DC characters..I don't know what that says about me.

Q 03 - Which, if any, superhero(es) do you hate?

Nova - How crap was Nova? What did he do? What were his powers?
I also always really detested Superman (all those powers crammed into one guy and he was still really dull). And I always thought The Sub-Mariner was a bit of a prick.

Q 04 - What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you'd be proud to mask under.)

Ricky Heffernan - oh, sorry, that's my porn name. Well, if I was a villain (and I probably would be) I'd be called Smack Girl. But as it's a Hero thing I'd be The Rabbit. Or possibly The Invisible Rabbit.

Q 05 - For extra credit: Is there an existing superhero with whom you identify / whom you would like to be?

Again with the villain thing - I always wanted to be The Absorbing Man (For God's sake - don't touch glass and don't let anyone throw you in the fucking water).
Close runners up would be Iceman and The Atom - but all said and done I think The Batman always did it for me. I don't know if it's the simplicity of him, or the darkness, but I've always been into him. And he's a fucking multi millionaire and that's gonna help.

Q 06 - Pass this onto three people.

Ok - Niowulf, cause he's got a superhero car. JC, because he needs to get blogging, and back to Kek-W, because, let's face it, his fucking kid did it all for him.


kek-w said...

"Smack Girl" - is that heroin reference, or spanking?

Or both.

(She nods off while you're giving her a good paddling...)

Dominic Zero said...

Heroin - but now you mention it...both.

Psychbloke said...

Hey Kek .... don't go changing the subject now ....I'm all for people being made to do things again if they don't do them properly

(Sorry, it's that teacher training college thing in me....)

Dominic Zero said...

That must be Kek's super power - changing the subject. No wonder he avoided the task.

kek-w said...

Sorry, mum. I won't do it again...

Superheroics #2 poss. sometime in the next few days when I've cleared my desk...

OhmiGod! Look! Up there...!

(Runs off down a side-alley, while everyone's looking up into the sky, blinking at the sun. "And men shall call him...The Distractor!")

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