Xmas Message

Ah, Christmas Day. A time to eat and be given things. A time to raid the stationary cupboard at work and to wonder why Noel Edmunds isn't on the telly live from some sick kid's hospital.
Even though I don't want to - I know I'll watch Harry Potter And The Lump Of Shit later. That's assuming we've finished watching The Great Escape ( I have it on tape - seeing as it's never on telly at Christmas any more).
Once I get out of the BBC pit, I'm heading home - and quite looking forward to it - neither of us is ill for the first time in three years, and we have lots and lots of food. It has to be better than Christmas Eve - my cooker failing to work, almost blowing myself up trying to sort out a light fitting in the bog, one of Kate's cats bleeding from the arse. It was just Bad Karma all round.
Still, it's a day to forget the bad times I had this year - the imminent falling of the BBC axe (Again), Van Helsing, Billy Connoly everywhere, getting a new postman who doesn't know shit about house numbers, the Uber-Crap Kill Bill Vol.2, that twat who won X Factor, my cat Planet deciding to drop dead (I think he was just sick of me), Big Brother, finding out Jane (News 24 Ultra-Babe) is a lesbo, VHS getting bum-fucked, Little Britain (What? It's crap), Angel getting the chop, The Book Cellar in Braunton closing down (even though I got about 40 books for £10), and meeting Tony Blair and not kicking him in the balls.
Still, there were good things - finding the Albion Bookstore in Las Vegas (the best shop I've ever been in, I almost shot my load), Some Girls by Rachel Stevens, Dawn Of The Dead, getting Kansas City Bomber on VHS, the Jah Wobble remix of Down Boy by Holly Valance, We Three by Grant Morrison, Battlestar Galactica, finally getting hold of a copy of Skull-Face by Robert E Howard, finding out Jane's a lesbo (well, once I started thinking about it...), Ultimate Fantastic Four, getting spazmo pissed with Kek-W then eating 50 cocktail sausages, and the Godlike Genius Of Ebay (where I bought, among other things, a silver polystyrene head).
With the wind behind me I should be home in time for Christmas All New Top Of The Pops, I just hope Kate lets me watch it.
Merry Christmas.