First Annual Octopus 99 Motion Picture Awards

Well, now, next year I'll probably hold this as a gala event at Chard Town Hall with a red carpet and everything. This year, however, due to funding problems, the winners will just have to come round my house to collect their gongs.
Each category had five nominations (some of which get a mention), and Jupiter and myself were up all night deliberating the winners & losers.

So here they are, the glorious winners:

Best Un-PC Excuse To Shoot Arabs While Posing As A PC 'Let's Work Together' Film: The Kingdom.

Best Animal : The Dog Off I Am Legend.

Best Spy Music : The Bourne Ultimatum.

Best Film About Magicians : The Prestige.

Film That Wasn't Nearly As Bad As Everyone Said It Was : Spiderman 3.

Best Hair : John Cusack In 1408.

Best Film I Haven't Seen : Rambo.

Best Quote : 'You Wanna Be A Big Cop In A Small Town? - Fuck Off Up The Model Village.' (Hot Fuzz).

Best Remake Of Death Wish : The Brave One. (I haven't seen Death Sentence.)

Most Missed Movie Franchise : The Mighty Ducks. (A close second was Agent Cody Banks).

Best Bruce Willis Movie : Die Hard 4.0.

Best Lindsay Lohan Movie : I Know Who Killed Me.

Best Film With A Killer Who Looks Like One Of The Monkees : No Country For Old Men.

Worst CGI : I Am Legend.

Worst Acting/Script Hidden By A Good Idea : Cloverfield.

Most Unnecessary Fast Cutting Thus Ruining What Would Otherwise Be A Really Good Movie : The Bourne Ultimatum.

Special Who Gives A Shit Award : Blade Runner: The Final Cut.

Special Please Will You Just Fuck Off Award : Julia Roberts.

Special Television Award For The Series That Really Does Have No Idea How Shit It Is : Torchwood.

And there you go. Hopefully next year it'll be televised, I'm in talks with QVC.