No, Really..This Is Too Much.

And later on in the same issue Whirlwind's kind of in a quasi-rape situation with The Wasp..in the previous panel he says 'You owe me a taste of your honey' (I would understand what he meant if she was called The Bee) - and quite honestly I'm shocked to the gills that this kind of thing is happening in mainstream Marvel Comics.
I really don't like my Super Villains degraded like this.

Ouch

The Wasp & Yellow Jacket using their super powers to have sex (The Avengers Vol3 No 71). Now, I thought that sort of thing didn't go on.
He's made himself really small and has been, well, running around..you know.. down there.
I'm shocked.

Xmas Message

Ah, Christmas Day. A time to eat and be given things. A time to raid the stationary cupboard at work and to wonder why Noel Edmunds isn't on the telly live from some sick kid's hospital.
Even though I don't want to - I know I'll watch Harry Potter And The Lump Of Shit later. That's assuming we've finished watching The Great Escape ( I have it on tape - seeing as it's never on telly at Christmas any more).
Once I get out of the BBC pit, I'm heading home - and quite looking forward to it - neither of us is ill for the first time in three years, and we have lots and lots of food. It has to be better than Christmas Eve - my cooker failing to work, almost blowing myself up trying to sort out a light fitting in the bog, one of Kate's cats bleeding from the arse. It was just Bad Karma all round.
Still, it's a day to forget the bad times I had this year - the imminent falling of the BBC axe (Again), Van Helsing, Billy Connoly everywhere, getting a new postman who doesn't know shit about house numbers, the Uber-Crap Kill Bill Vol.2, that twat who won X Factor, my cat Planet deciding to drop dead (I think he was just sick of me), Big Brother, finding out Jane (News 24 Ultra-Babe) is a lesbo, VHS getting bum-fucked, Little Britain (What? It's crap), Angel getting the chop, The Book Cellar in Braunton closing down (even though I got about 40 books for £10), and meeting Tony Blair and not kicking him in the balls.
Still, there were good things - finding the Albion Bookstore in Las Vegas (the best shop I've ever been in, I almost shot my load), Some Girls by Rachel Stevens, Dawn Of The Dead, getting Kansas City Bomber on VHS, the Jah Wobble remix of Down Boy by Holly Valance, We Three by Grant Morrison, Battlestar Galactica, finally getting hold of a copy of Skull-Face by Robert E Howard, finding out Jane's a lesbo (well, once I started thinking about it...), Ultimate Fantastic Four, getting spazmo pissed with Kek-W then eating 50 cocktail sausages, and the Godlike Genius Of Ebay (where I bought, among other things, a silver polystyrene head).
With the wind behind me I should be home in time for Christmas All New Top Of The Pops, I just hope Kate lets me watch it.
Merry Christmas.

Super Villain 2

Here's my Christmas present to all my readers - June Chadwick as the evil Lydia in V - The Series.
That lizard tongue just sends me.
Hoping to post a Christmas message tomorrow while I'm AT WORK.
I'm sure everyone will get up early at watch BBC Breakfast to see how badly I manage to fuck up the show.

Super Villain

Here's my new cat - Jupiter.
Although he's cute looking, he is, in fact, Evil.

Toby, The King Of Bad Taste

Many thanks for the late birthday prez from Toby, a tee-shirt from an Oz casino which proclaims: 'Liquor up Front - Poker In The Rear'.
Welcome back, old boy.

It's a terrible thing, dying healthy.

Flash has a really bad dream.

Birthday Madness

A couple of Uber Cool presents from Kate & Lurch - Olivia Newton-John- 'The Definitive Collection' - which is pretty fucking excellent. And a kind of Super-Villain encyclopedia, which I'm trawling through very slowly due to an Ultra-Hangover.
I had no idea there were 5 Crimson Dynamos and 4 Mr Fears - or that The Porcupine was dead (impaled by one of his own quills apparently).
Also in my big Lucky Bag were Buffy Season 7 (Thanks JC) - on VHS! - I refuse to be bullied by giant corporations into endless new formats. If one more person tells me how fucking wonderful fucking DVD is I'm going to shoot up a Burger King. I don't need the extras, man. If they're so fucking great why aren't they in the film in the fucking first place?
Also a Kylie / Hunter S Thompson parcel from Kek-W which rocks. Kylie's too big for the scanner otherwise she'd be plastered all over this post.
Also a Ghost Rider & bike Super-Poseable action figure (37 points of articulation - Wow), again from Lurch. Took it out of the box, wrecking the packaging, immediately.
All in all a good haul. Thanks folks.

GA In Space

Now...left to right - Kimberley, Nadine, Sarah (Bad Trousers), Cheryl (damn -can't find a swastika symbol on my keyboard), Ruff Nicola. Got that Kek?
This is the original 1st album cover before they re-packaged it to look like everything else. It'll be worth a fortune in about 50 years time.
It's just so cool I almost bought it & now I wish I fucking had. It's Boss Science Fiction and it should be a 60s book cover.
Click to ENLARGE.

Joe Pasquale For President

Appalling to see Natalie Appleton walk off 'I'm A Celebrity..' after only failing 5 trials. She seemed so hardy.
Good, though, to see Uber-Nobody Nancy Sorrell get the sack. She got no air time despite getting 'em out constantly, which was ace. Being Vic Reeves' fluff isn't much of a career boost these days. Neither is being Vic Reeves. Joe Pasquale is funnier than Reeves. How Very, Very superb.
My faith in the British public is slowly returning - you have to admit their non-stop torture of Nat was inspired.

Brighton Book Shop Hell

Just returned from 48 hours in Brighton. Found a couple of nice Burroughs with Frank Frazetta covers to add to my growing pulp pile.
It's astonishing how many of the book shops down there stick price labels on their stock that take half the cover off when you remove them. I actually asked in one shop because I found a nice copy of Sven Hassel's 'Assignment Gestapo' and the bloke said 'Nah, mate, them old books it'll rip the cover'. Nice, professional approach. Needless to say I put the book back.
At least he told me, I suppose.

An Apology

I just wanted to apologize publicly for my previous post about killing people.
I don't know what came over me - but I forgot Gaby Roslin. Jesus, I hate her more than any of them.
Tedious, moronic, talentless, shouting bag of stale blonde shit with eyes that say 'Where Am I?'.
She's had more shows axed than Richard Blackwood.
When I win the lottery, my agenda includes giving 1 million to Children In Need if Roslin fucks off the telly - now. She'd have to do it.
It's a genius plan.

Meet The GA

So, I was working with Girls Aloud yesterday for a Children In Need Breakfast Special Thing (needless to say I was being paid - I would have offered my services for free but I don't like children and I certainly don't think they need anything).
Anyway- once I'd gotten Cheryl Tweedy to take off her swastika armband it all went pretty well.
It was fascinating to discover that Nicola (The Rough One), isn't actually the ruffest, Cheryl, apart from being a Nazi, is actually pretty fucking ugly. An astonishing turn of events.
Also, only two can actually talk (Sarah & Nadine), the other three can only giggle. I actually had to look at their website to find out which was which before the show- ( www.girlsaloud.co.uk/site.php ) - the other one being Kimberley - and, as official GA websites go - it Rocks.
Still, the whole experience was V heartwarming, hearing them talk (well, two of them, anyway) about how wonderful it was to 'get involved in something' so 'worthwhile' & 'career promoting'.
Thick as shit, God Bless Em.

People Who Should Fuck Off Before I Kill Them

Nick Hornby (get a job).

Ewan McGregor (really - what is anyone thinking putting him in anything?).

Frank Skinner (Why? Why Is He On My Telly?).

Geri Halliwell (Somebody kill her - before it's too late).

Uma Thurman (Man's Face).

Band Aid 20 (Surely they know it's Christmas by now - do we really need to keep telling them?).

Lleyton Hewitt (Nazi Aussie with spots who couldn't even keep hold of his pug-ugly girlfriend).

David Schwimmer (Tit).

Peter Andre & Jordan (A six part series on ITV1 - is that really necessary?).

All The Osbornes Except Ozzie.

Phil Jupitas (You're not funny - no, really, you're not funny).

Ben Elton (Neither are you).

Anyone With The Surname 'Bedingfield'.

John Leslie (Oh - he has fucked off).

Anthea Turner (So has she - Snowflake guzzling bitch).

Jez Todd (Cameraman who lives down my road - let's face it - if your name's Jez - you're a Wanker).

Carol Fucking Vorderman.

The Person Responsible For Maintainance On The BBC 2nd Floor Tea Bar Coffee Machine.

It's not that I'm having a bad day or anything - but Wow, I feel better for that.

At Last...

Doc Savage #117/118 - the 2nd rarest book of the series..is finally mine. I now have the whole set - that's 124 books. 96 singles, 15 doubles & 13 omnibuses. Plus the 3 Philip Jose Farmer books.
I haven't bothered with the '90s Will Murray books 'cause I'm a purist.
I feel much better for letting you all know.
God bless Ebay.

Underneath The Bottom Of The Food Chain

I don't consider myself a snob - but Abi Titmuss - what a sack of shit.
No particular reason for posting this - it just feels right.

Hang In There, Yasser

Now, this may come across as a tad selfish, but I really need Arafat to stay alive until at least 10.45pm tonight. I'm getting near the end of my World Service shift and I really don't need the place going batshit until I'm out of the door.
Kek-W is turning up later for a Cinzano Bianco and I don't want to come across as a bad host by not being at home when he shows up.

John Peel

There are a lot of records in my collection by bands and artists whom I would never of known existed if it hadn't been for John Peel.

Go, Boris

I was originally going to write this as a comment on Psychbloke's blog (http://psychbloke.blogspot.com ) - but I thought if I'm going to be offensive I'd better stay here.
That article in The Spectator - what's the problem?
I think the media reaction to it (the same media camped outside Ken Bigley's sick grandmother's bedroom window), was as hysterically over-reactionary as their coverage was of Bigley's situation in the first place.
Sure, we all know his name, his plight was much more tragic because he was British. What were the names of the two Americans captured with him? I don't know. What was the name of that Turkish truck driver that got decapitated? I don't know that either.
As for the accusations that the Liverpool community are wallowing in it -yeah - they are, they always do. How dare anyone say it.