V Day

Just spent 10 hours watching V on Sci Fi. Well, I am disabled, what else am I supposed to do?

Who Needs A Reason?

Uber-rare statue of Ron Ely as Doc Savage. And yet more Lynda Carter in Underwater Gear. Look at that fucking waist. How's that possible?
See Molly's Blog for the relevance of all this.

Homemade Zero Toy

I made this. In WW2 the Germans had a tactic of hiding their armour in amongst herds of zebra.

One Hit Wonders

Sean Young, as requested, did Blade Runner then absolutely fuck-all else of any note...
...and Sherilyn Fenn. Twin Peaks, then nothing else. Still, they're both pretty good at smoking. Also they both contributed prolifically to the '80s/90s straight to video erotic thriller market. Check out Meridian to see Fenn being shagged by a big, hairy monster. It rocks.
They did actually make a film together - Fatal Instinct - it was Shit.

Eastwood Day

For no particular reason I can come up with, these are my five favourite Clint Eastwood movie quotes:

1/ 'Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot.'

2/ 'You're gonna look awful stupid with that knife stuck up your ass.'

3/ 'You forgot your fortune cookie. It says...You're shit out of luck.'

4/ (First Man): 'Man's gotta make a livin'.'

(Eastwood): 'Dyin' ain't much of a livin, boy.'

5/ (First Man): 'You just shot an unarmed man!'

(Eastwood): 'Well, he shoulda armed himself, if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.'

Tell me all five movies and I'll do a TV Fluff post of your choice. It's really dull being crippled.

More Zero Toys

Make It So

Outside having a cigarette this morning, limping along, dropped my lighter. Captain Picard picked it up and handed it to me. Fucking Hell. How important is that?

Well, as I have to go back to work tomorrow at 4.00am, despite still being crippled,I thought I'd post some Charlie's Angels bubblegum cards to cheer myself up.

Zero Toys

Oh Lordi

Crippled as I am, I shall be watching the Eurovision Song Contest tonight (yes, Song Contest, not just Eurovision..that doesn't mean anything). I didn't want to go out anyway, it has nothing to do with no one being around. But Finnish entry Lordi...they're just Gwar aren't they? God, though, I hope they win.

He Man

I know the dude on the right is Skeletor, but who's the other fucker? I'm going to put them on Ebay & need to appear knowledgeable on the subject.

Mr Moffat

As requested by Betty Cress, the tragically short-lived Logan's Run, featuring the greatest eybrow actor ever Donald Moffat (left), and Uber-Fluff Heather Menzies (she was the middle kid in The Sound Of Music and also starred in the marvellous Pirahna.
Moffat also played the twitchy Garry in my third favourite film The Thing. He lasts almost to the end.

Go Faster Flag

My favourite flag, just in case anyone was wondering.

Well, this morning I tore my Achilles tendon. Fuck me it hurt.
This either means I'll be blogging a lot more...or I may simply roll around on the floor in agony.

Just One More, Then

Oh, what the Hell, one more picture of Ms Locklear before I revert to Octopusness and head into the impending Logan's Run & Top Trumps posts.
Ah, she's super.

Proper Cybermen

While I'm on the subject of new things being crap..weren't The Cybermen aliens from The Tenth Planet, rather than transformed Big Issue sellers?
Much as I hate to criticize the new DR Who series (other than that it's bollocks), this seems a bit lame. Mind you, I only saw the last ten minutes due to Cricket On Five, so maybe I missed some in depth explanation of the rewriting of history.

The Absorbing Man

My favourite super villian, as he should be, not buggered up as in the Hulk movie.

T J Hooker

As I was talking about Heather Locklear..well not to you maybe, but I was, I thought I'd post some cool TJ Hooker pix. After all, William Shatner is God in some universes, and it was probably the best tv show of all time. James Darren off Time Tunnel was Stacey Sheridan's partner.
And TJ Hooker's daughter in the show was Baywatch nymphette Nicole Eggert, who went on to star in the quasi-Terminator straight to video classic The Demolitionist.

Well, there you go.

Fluff Frenzy

Well, here's the aforementioned Catherine Schell. Or Catherine Von Schell if you're a purist. Space 1999, there was a show that wasn't too good..
..and this is Catherine Bach, who was in the Uber-Shit Dukes Of Hazard. Never liked it. Too much shouting and I never liked denim shorts..
..not to be confused with Jessica Simpson, who plays Daisy Duke in the recent movie. Unfortunately you can't really see her face here...
..ah, there she is.

So, just in case there's any confusion from the comments on Kid Shirt's Fall Guy blog, here's the great Heather Locklear...

















..not to be confused with the over rated Heather Thomas...

..and here's Heather Locklear again...

..er, on her wedding night, apparently.

Everybody's On Top Of The Pops

If you happen to watch TOTP this weekend and notice anything strange about the audience, ie; it's populated with hunchbacks, all manor of cripples, manically depressed geeks, balding guys with long hair, women with a lost, angry look and skirts worn over their jeans plus many courderouy jackets with leather elbow patches..it will be down to the fact that presently the BBC has no licence for having public audiences at their music shows...so they've had to resort to inviting the staff.
Ouch.

Cake

As promised..The Cake. Buffy & Boba, together at last.

Science Fiction Fluff #10

Haven't done a Fluff Post for quite some time.
This is Jennifer O'Dell off Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, which Sci Fi used to show every day until recently. It was crap, but it did have velocoraptors and shit.
She's been captured by giant bees and is covered in honey. Cool.

Wedded Bliss

Well, now. I seem to have woken up Married.
Truth be told it was a Groovy affair, good weather, good people, good cake. There is now officially a Mrs Zero. She spoke, I spoke, photographs were taken, we ate, we spoke again. Niowulf spoke of my lurid past.
Mr Ayling gave me cocaine in the bog. There were images of our cats on the tables. Donna cried when she saw my ex-cat Planet's photo. Kid Shirt wore a suit. I drank many glasses of Jack Daniel's.
It was a fine day & night.
Although nobody really got to hear the enchanted cds I had spent weeks painstakingly putting together - but I'm not bitter - I'm just planning to go to everyone's houses individually and play them all through track by track.
We honeymooned in Dublin (best not to refer to England as 'The Mainland' if you ever go) which is a great place as long as you don't want to FUCKING SMOKE ANYWHERE.
Still, I got this:

Plus a few more books, which was lucky considering most of Dublin's secondhand bookshops have closed down. Not, of course, that I was looking for books on my honeymoon..
er...

um...

Ah, well.

The Staaaag

Well, I survived my Stag Night. I have to thank Pool King Niowulf for organizing everything - the whole affair had a military precision. It was a day and night of pure drinking and macho competition. I got knocked out in the semi-finals of the pool tournament and was Utter Shit at bowling. Still - I had a fabulous evening, even though everybody seemed to forget to book a Wonder Woman In Underwater Gear stripper.
At some point there was food - I think that may have saved us.
Special thanks must go to Nik for not bringing any drugs. Thank God. Apparently he couldn't wake his dealer up that morning.
I even made it to a pulp bookfair today - more of that later.
It's now 9pm and I'm going to bed...I'm very, very tired.