War Is Cool

Just finished re-reading Time To Hunt, what a fantastic book. So good I went out and bought it for Niowulf for Christmas. Even though he never reads anything I give him.

Niowulf: READ IT - IT'S REALLY GOOD WAR SHIT. It's even got HALO in it (High Altitude Low..er..Ordanance?..Osprey?..Orangutang?).

And many thanks to Kidshirt for Where Eagles Dare..made in Real Time..never get tired of it..best theme music possibly ever. And Eastwood in Nazi gear, you just can't top that.

Octopus 99 Boxing Day Message

Well, OK, not really a message as such..more a short word or two on Christmas TV.
I actually watched the Dr Who 'Christmas Special' all the way through (a couple of after-thought santas & a reference to Christmas dinner thrown in presumably to make it seem festive). There was nothing else on..really, there wasn't.
How bad is Russell T's PC World getting? Jesus, does every relationship in it have to be mixed race? And always the same two races??
The incidental music in that show is like, so terrible it's actually comedy. "Make the music really loud! It's expensive!" It doesn't seem to matter that whoever wrote it obviously hasn't seen this episode. Genius. People are probably out there buying the soundtrack right now.
And I'm assuming the endless references to the terminally shit Torchwood must mean that that show's not doing so well. Oh, good.
Wow, it sucked. It sucked like a beacon in the fog of Shite Christmas Day TV.
Whereas, Girls Aloud on TOTP (wasn't that shit-canned?) were absolutely the best TV of the day. How wonderful it was to be reminded of how awful the direction & vision-mixing is on music telly these days. God forbid we should be allowed to see a camera shot for more than a fraction of a fucking second before it cuts away. Dance routine? What dance routine was that then? Cut cut cut. Nice.
Ah, Kimberly. Even though I never saw you for more than a nano-fucking-second at a time and you were at the back.. nightmarishly relegated to behind Ruff Nicola (my, they've scrubbed her up)..I'm sure you looked fantastic.

Oh My God, What Have I Done..?

So, anyway, I live in The Country now. I haven't actually seen it yet it's been so fucking foggy. I'm sure it's marvelous, though. At least the cats seem to be getting on...
I was gonna do a 'post-BBC' thing tonight, but got fished in to watching 'Whatever Happened To Gareth Gates?' instead. My, that was Bad Television, I came out the other side absolutely rooting for the stuttering little fucker. Whoever made that show should be fucking hanged.
Note to the producer..maybe think about putting some fucking information in your next show, who knows, it might even help with your career.

Terminal Stupid b/w I Can't Come

Part of my new series of records I don't have.

'Battle Ye Not With Monsters.....Lest Ye Become A Monster.'

Jupiter taking it well.

Bung.

Well, now.

We moved to Devon last week, and now I'm back in London for a couple of weeks. Jupiter seems to be the only cat to be taking the whole moving thing well, I'm not sure he's actually realized he's somewhere else. Ursa Major, my other cat, completely freaked & howled for the whole four and a half hour journey. She's the cat that Diazapam doesn't work on. I really did think about just dumping her outside the Little Chef I stopped at and being done with it.

Tyrone, Mouse and Pushkin, the other three cats, are all still under the bed as far as I know.

Yesterday I put in my notice in at work, so I'm out of here in two weeks...although the wonderful BBC are actually charging me £162 to leave.

Just to reiterate: They Are Fucking Charging Me To Leave.

Ah, bless them, I know they mean well, although the word Cu.. (oh, I best not) does spring to mind.

I did take a picture of the magnificent view from our new living room window, from where we can see the whole of the Saunton Sands estuary, but it came out shit so here's a picture of our bungalow.

Thanks V Much to Mrs Zero, Lurch, Shirt & Niowulf for the particularly Cool birthday presents last week, they will be scanned & blogged eventually.

Logan's Badge

Now that's some birthday present. Two Logan's Run badges. Fucking magnificent.

Many thanks to Mr Niowulf for bringing round his gigantic, gas-guzzling 4X4 monster truck to help me shift a whole pile of stuff (including my zebra-stripe filing cabinet) over to Mrs Zero's house yesterday.
Enormous cars should be Encouraged and Used More.

Ah, yes, although myself & Mrs Zero were house hunting in N Devon, I still managed to get into a few charity shops on the sly. I found a great stash of New English Library pulps in Westward Ho!

Incidentally we found somwhere to live inbetween my bookshop foraging.

Well, now, I'm off to North Devon in the morning to find a place to live as we've got exactly 11 days to get the hell out of here. No pressure, but I won't be posting for a few days, so here's a Hasselhoff beermat as acquired from Cloud 23 in Manchester.
For those of you in the London vicinity I shall be having a birthday beverage on Wed 29th Nov, so keep it free.

Holy Shit, what was all that about? I simply tried to log in & all of a sudden I was being Googled up the ass.
Anyway, just been drinking heavily with Niowulf and we came 3rd in some kind of Uber-Difficult pub quiz.
I think it helped that Niowulf knew that the mast at the back of a ship is called a mizzzzenenen.
Cool.

Guy N Smith

Ah, new scanner.

Bat Bear

The X Factor

Well, it just goes to show, being wheelchair bound or having a dead mum will only get you so far.

As a follow up to the legendary Kidshirt's recent post regarding my long lost band The Amazing Cattle, I'd just like to reiterate that if anyone out there is crazy/deranged/lonely enough to want one or both of these albums, they are available from me at £6.00 for one or £10.00 for both, plus £1.50 p&p either way.
Just leave a comment and I can give you my Paypal or postal address.
Hold My Hand Grenade has 15 tracks.
Perfume River has 12 tracks.
Now I'm gonna sit back and watch the comments flood right on in.

Humanoids From The Deep (aka Monster) (1980 / 1996).

The House That Dripped Blood (1970).

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974).

Got 20 minutes or so to kill before I go to the pub, so here's three more Horror puzzlers for you to mull over if there's nothing on the telly. Believe me, there's nothing on the telly. My close friend Christopher Lee might be in one of them.

Cool As Fuck

So, anyway, I met Christopher Lee yesterday at work..and he sang to me. He sang to me. Fucking Hell.

I got an ace book through the post today, but my scanner's fucked so here's a picture of Yvonne Craig.

Well, now. Read what you want into this.

Postcard From The Edge

Blimey, haven't had a postcard for absolutely ages. This is from my good buddy Toby, who recently moved to somewhere called Australia. On the back he's just written; 'Fuck These Flip-Flop Wearing Cunts.'
God Bless, Tobes.

Top Ten Halloween Horror Blood-Fest

Phantasm (1979).

Night Of The Lepus (1972).

Night Of The Living Dead (1968).


Zoltan: Hound Of Dracula (1978).

The Blob (1988).

Race With The Devil (1975).

Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003).

Freaks (1932).

An American Werewolf In London (1982).

Eight Legged Freaks (2002).

Not necessarily my favourites, just ten good ol' horror films that sprang to mind, what with Halloween just around the corner. Tell me all ten and win a vintage tin of Homebase matt chrome paint.

Gratuitous Fluff

Probably going to do some kind of Halloween Top Ten towards the end of the week, although I do have a couple of Drinking engagements to get through first.

You Can Never Have Too Much Moorcock

Got the first Corum trilogy down in Brighton too, all with the classic Bob Habberfield covers. They're just ace. Started reading the first one today..ahh it takes me back. All that face-hacking and spears in throats, it's just kharma.

Nice Find

Found this in a charity shop in Brighton yesterday. God, I love Zip Nolan and The Spider. I think Kidshirt posted this not so long ago, but what the hey, it's worth a second look. some other pretty cool finds to post soon.
PS I won the Top Ten, so there.

The Metal Men

Top Ten Actors Who Should Be More Famous Than They Are

For some reason the text at the bottom won't appear, but basically all these actors should be fucking global household names, but they're not. Tell me their names and win a bottle of Hi Karate.

Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead x 3 / Spiderman x 2 / Xena: Warrior Princess).

Adam Baldwin (Cohen & Tate / Firefly / Independence Day / Serenity).

Michael Ironside (V / Total Recall / Scanners / Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone).

Veronica Cartwright (Alien / Invasion Of The Body Snatchers / The Birds).

Scott Glenn (Silverado / Backdraft / Vertical Limit / Silence Of The Lambs).

Sheryl Lee (Vampires / Twin Peaks / Backbeat).

Robert Patrick (Terminator 2 / Fuck Knows / Copland / The X Files).

Alexis Denisof (Buffy The Vampire Slayer / Angel).

Powers Boothe (Southern Comfort / Extreme Prejudice / Red Dawn / Tombstone).


Gina Gershon ( Showgirls / Face/Off / Bound).