Wimbledon 2005

As this site is slowly sinking into having a distinct soft-porn feel, instead of going on about the tennis I thought I'd just show how good Boris Vallejo is at drawing asses.
Dazzler (below). Rogue (above).

Boris Vallejo

Tim Henman

I was going to do this whole thing tonight about how Tim Henman's a really good fucking tennis player and that everybody should just leave him be and that he's done more for tennis in this country than everybody else put together and that he's gotten to the second week of Wimbledon for ten fucking years straight and no fucker else has done that....
Then I found this pic from Daredevil #83 and, to be honest, thought it was best to post this instead.

The Chips Are Down And Gone

I have an incredibly intense hangover this morning - I also got fucked in the ass at Texas Hold 'Em last night & lost £10. This pic by Adam Hughes seems to be making me feel better.

Simon MacCorkindale

All weekend Bravo was showing Manimal. Fucking genius.

The Real World

Intensely hungover as I am..I thought now might be a good time to answer the Big Questions passed to me by Kek-W, even though I've built it up too much making it all an inevitable disappointment.

Q 01 - If you could have one super-power, what would it be & why?
(Assume you get baseline superhero enhancements like moderately increased strength,
endurance & agility.)

Well, with me it always comes back to Invisibility. It's all you need. I mean, the novelty of flying's gonna wear off pretty quickly. And what else is there? Flaming On? Running really fast? Turning into metal? They're all going to wear a bit thin after a couple of days. I mean Blackbolt - that's a pretty crap power - what are you going to do with that?
But invisibility, that's gonna keep me occupied for ages. I could nick stuff, kill Rob Brown.
I'd have to insist on being able to make other things invisible too though, I'm not going round naked.
I used to have a super-power when I was younger - the ability to make doors open the wrong way. Funnily enough it only worked when I was on LSD.

Q 02 - Which, if any, 'existing' superhero(es) do you fancy & why?

Oh, God, I could go on and on and I probably will. I had a BIG thing for Jean Grey / Marvel Girl / Phoenix - but - she's dead (again), so I guess she doesn't 'exist'.
So I'll have to go for The Invisible Girl (yes, Girl) when she got hijacked by The Hate Monger (Marvel's best Nazi) and he turned her into Malice (FF 280 -281). Even though she was drawn by the sexless John Byrne my cock was sore for a month after that came out.
The Wasp, The White Queen (she can turn into diamond now - when did that happen?), Madame Hydra and Ant Man are all close runners up in this category. I never fancied any DC characters..I don't know what that says about me.

Q 03 - Which, if any, superhero(es) do you hate?

Nova - How crap was Nova? What did he do? What were his powers?
I also always really detested Superman (all those powers crammed into one guy and he was still really dull). And I always thought The Sub-Mariner was a bit of a prick.

Q 04 - What would your superhero name be? (No prefab porn-name formulas here, you have to make up the name you'd be proud to mask under.)

Ricky Heffernan - oh, sorry, that's my porn name. Well, if I was a villain (and I probably would be) I'd be called Smack Girl. But as it's a Hero thing I'd be The Rabbit. Or possibly The Invisible Rabbit.

Q 05 - For extra credit: Is there an existing superhero with whom you identify / whom you would like to be?

Again with the villain thing - I always wanted to be The Absorbing Man (For God's sake - don't touch glass and don't let anyone throw you in the fucking water).
Close runners up would be Iceman and The Atom - but all said and done I think The Batman always did it for me. I don't know if it's the simplicity of him, or the darkness, but I've always been into him. And he's a fucking multi millionaire and that's gonna help.

Q 06 - Pass this onto three people.

Ok - Niowulf, cause he's got a superhero car. JC, because he needs to get blogging, and back to Kek-W, because, let's face it, his fucking kid did it all for him.

Neal Adams

Ouch

Yesterday I inadvertently caused a Pavement Cyclist to crash horribly into a lamppost.
She cried out in pain as she tried to avoid me by going between said lamppost and a parked car and misjudged the whole maneuver.
I can't claim any responsibility for this event but it was incredibly satisfying.

Boing

As I'm far too knackered to do Kek W's suggested superhero questionaire today due to my string of early mornings in World Service, consider this post a trailer for the up and coming event.
Abbey Chase - aka Danger Girl.
Cool, a trailer.

A Right Royal Fucking

Much as I detest Bob Geldof and his endless, self-righteous preaching, I have to laugh at his bum-fucking tactics with Ebay.
Curious yesterday , after Ebay announced it was chickening out + banning sale of Live 8 tickets, I had a look. Every single pair on sale had been bid up to Ten Million Pounds.
Fantastic. I would actually pay to see some of those seller's faces when they get their final value fees.
I'm especially happy because I did indeed text for tickets (and failed) with the sole intention of flogging them on Ebay. I was going to redeem myself by buying one of those white 'Make Poverty History' wristbands that are manufactured in Asian sweatshops.
As a kind of breaking news footnote: Apparently Pink Floyd have changed their name to Pink Utter, Utter Shit for the concert.

Oh Shit

I see Wacko got away with it.
What a revolting development.

The Crucial Four

Found at the bottom of my filing cabinet..one of The great fanzines..put together by The Crucial Four...Dupe C Average, The Anonymous Spectre, Gothic Raymond and Ben Trendy..all of whom died horribly in The Congo late '88.
Features a review of The Pompeii Stiffs, one of Bridgwater's great undiscovered bands.

Burroughs

One of E R Burroughs westerns - he did a few - with a Boris Vallejo cover to boot.

Hogan

WW1 Aces Vs Giant Bats..with a Jim Steranko cover.
What more could you possibly ask for?

Steele

T

You know when you're at work - and someone comes and asks you if you want a cup of tea - but instead of just asking you they make the letter 'T' with their hands?
Isn't that just the fucking most annoying thing ever?